


soldier's joy

by Zsazsa4



Category: The Terror (TV 2018)
Genre: Anal Sex, Canon Compliant, Carnivale (The Terror), Cornelius Hickey Is His Own Warning, Dirty Talk, Frottage, M/M, Period Typical Attitudes, Sex, discussion of past sex work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2020-11-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 07:09:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27589348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zsazsa4/pseuds/Zsazsa4
Summary: 'He had some idea what Tozer wanted when he left that tobacco in his hammock. It could have been the simple gesture of a man wanting a mate, but then Tozer had enough mates, was decently well-liked. No, he had put it down in advance for something else.'Sooner or later, the bill always comes due, and Hickey has been totting up his accounts.
Relationships: Cornelius Hickey/Sgt Solomon Tozer
Comments: 9
Kudos: 22
Collections: Hickeyshipping 2020





	soldier's joy

**Author's Note:**

  * For [libraralien](https://archiveofourown.org/users/libraralien/gifts).



He had some idea what Tozer wanted when he left that tobacco in his hammock. It could have been the simple gesture of a man wanting a mate, but then Tozer had enough mates, was decently well-liked despite being a Marine and a bully and, worst of all, a ranker. No, he had put it down in advance for something else. Hickey briefly turned it over that it might be no more than a gesture of - pity, maybe, but dismissed that quick. Whether Tozer himself knew what he wanted was a different question, but Hickey was not at all averse to the idea. He didn’t cut a bad figure in that red jacket, not so scrupulously kept now, and his fine upright posture turning just a little slouchy and bow-legged, invitingly so.

What it would be was foolish, very foolish. On the other hand, there was hardly anyone left on the ship, and if he had to keep his head down for the foreseeable he may as well have some fun. And it would be easier to get away with, as more of them had come to suspect that they would not all be making it to the Pacific and were sunk deeper into their private miseries and anxieties. Hickey would make it, of course, but two - three? - more years of this would need something to brighten it up. Just a little something, to keep him going, that wasn’t such a bad idea.

He woke up one night needing a piss, with such thoughts far from his mind. When he got to the pissdale, though, carefully threading his way between hammocks in the dark, what should he see but Tozer’s broad shape. Providential, you might call it, for the both of them to turn up together, if you still believed that providence had her eye out. Too dark to get an eyeful of his cock, more’s the pity. It got his mouth wet, and for a moment he was lost in thoughts of kissing and biting his way up those big, stout legs. But as it turned out Tozer was an old hand: Hickey gave him a long, lingering look, Tozer gave him a wink, and they were away. It proved as easy as it might have at a public convenience in Holborn. Handy, and unexpected, although maybe a bit disappointing as well. Something about being the first man Tozer was with, he realised, held a certain charm. But there, wasn’t that better, that the two of them knew what they were doing and could get on so well and easy. 

‘Tell me how you used to do it,’ he said, the two of them buried down in the hold with the crates and the coal, in the dark. A thick, solid smell down here, soot and salt and always more piss, and now the musky whiff of private flesh. He’d have liked to bury his face in it, get a good sniff of Tozer’s flushed cock and thatch of brown hair.

Tozer was inhaling hard through his nose, cock slick just from Hickey pulling at him, half-casually. He grunted in as Hickey slowed, loosened his grip. ‘What now, for Christ’s sake.’

‘You’ve done it before, obviously, so tell me about it.’

‘I don’t - I used to do it down in Woolwich, by the barracks. Go for a walk, in the evening, see what I could find, there’s always some sod looking for a soldier. Is that enough?’

Hickey snorted. ‘I should think not. Hang on, sit down.’ He pulled off with enough force that Tozer’s cock slapped against his belly, left a wet spot, and wasn’t that quite a sight. He got Tozer so he was sat on the deck against a crate, cock standing out of his trousers, knelt between his legs, and that took some pushing, getting him to open them enough.

‘We were getting on well enough before, weren’t we?’ Tozer said plaintively, frustrated and, perhaps, scared.

‘This will be better,’ Hickey said, ‘promise,’ getting himself out and getting himself wet, licking his hand. Tozer made a choked-off noise as he brought their cocks together, getting them in his fist. His own eyes fluttered shut - they were so warm together, and he felt a bead of wetness on his thumb, didn’t know whose it was. Could have been either, could have been both. That was worth it, the discomfort of kneeling so hunched and twisted, for the feel of Tozer’s leg hooked around him. All of that big, solid body beneath him. And, of course, his cock, hard and thick as it was. ‘Now, why won’t you tell me? Are you ashamed of it? Enjoyed it, though, didn’t you, or you wouldn’t be here.’

‘I’d have them,’ Tozer said quickly, ‘or they’d suck me off or we’d do it hands. God, come on -’

A step in the right direction, anyway, and it tickled Hickey that he’d do it but couldn’t say it. He sped up the motion of his hand, balancing himself against Tozer with the other as he sucked and bit at his neck. ‘See,’ he said, grinning to himself at Tozer thrusting up, agitated, into his grip, ‘I’d thought you might be up to something else. I thought maybe you’d open that mouth and let a nice gentleman fuck it for you, give you something to do with it.’ 

It was too dark for him to see Tozer’s face, but he’d tensed through his chest and shoulders and Hickey could just imagine it, the sergeant flushing fit to match his jacket.

‘And then I thought maybe I could get you on your knees down here, stuff your mouth up with my prick, see how much you'd take -’ 

Tozer caught hold of a handful of his hair. Not too rough, a warning more than anything. ‘I have been very obliging,’ he said, quiet and even, ‘but if you know what's good for you you'll shut up.’ 

Well, that was a lesson Hickey didn't need to be taught again so soon, so he did and got on with his task. Coaxed the two of their cocks together, pulled at them. But still, it was him as had Tozer beneath him, almost, legs spread. He noted with satisfaction that as Tozer spent, messily, his cock still dribbling as Hickey followed him over, that he didn't seem inclined to close them just yet. 

***

He had some idea of what Tozer had paid him, had pledged to pay him in future. But he wondered what it was Tozer wanted from him, what he’d handed over unawares. Tozer probably didn’t know himself, and if Hickey could puzzle it out he’d be clear out in front.

He was always angling to kiss, to hold Hickey, to be held, and it came to seem like he'd do anything for it. Oh, he'd carry on and protest beforehand, make out like he'd never consider it, come over the big man. And he did cut up very rough once or twice, to the point where Hickey began to doubt the wisdom of the endeavour. In the end, though, he was always open to persuasion. Hickey found it suspicious at first, couldn’t see the advantage and wondered if he was the one being tricked. But then affection is its own coin. He'd kneel and open his mouth, hold it just so, wet and loose, and let Hickey tangle a hand in his hair, hold him in place and fuck him like that until he was coughing and spluttering and his eyes were streaming. He'd let Hickey bite and pinch and scratch him, just to get a kiss after. No need for tears, Hickey would tell him, on the rare occasion it was necessary, and didn’t mention the snot.

That was half the fun of it, as much as the acts themselves, seeing what he could wheedle and push Tozer into taking. They still had a way to go but so far it was all very promising. He liked hearing about what Tozer had done with men in the past, as well, although he suspected he left much of it out and made some of it up. Tozer himself never wanted to hear about any of Hickey’s previous adventures in that area, even though he made sure not to mention the sorrier ones. The few times Hickey had tried his face had clouded and he’d sulked for ages, had to be coaxed out of it.

His main worry, then, was that it reminded him of how it was back in England, where there were more than a few men who fancied making you theirs. For women, he knew, soldiers and sailors could be the most brutal runners. But there it was, if you wanted someone bigger behind you, you had to take what came with it. Not that it didn't quite frequently prove your erstwhile protector was as bad or worse than your customers. Probably, if they had been in England, he’d have been wise to watch out for Tozer and steer well clear. In Hickey’s experience the other face of abjection might be a lust for possession ripe to turn nasty, and turn quick. 

They weren’t, however, in England, although they’d brought enough of it along with them. He had to keep reminding himself of it. He’d happily have slipped into a squalid arrangement in Angel Meadow or the Old Nichol, for a time anyway, but there was more for him to hold out for here. If not quite now, in the future which would be along presently. To his irritation, though, he was as eager to dole out scraps of affection as Tozer was to receive them, and he had regularly to remind himself that he did it to get what he wanted; nothing more.

‘There, my darling. There, my honey,’ he whispered now, sat next to Tozer, leaning on him, almost lying on him. Ran a hand through his hair.

Tozer blinked at him, round-eyed. ‘You sound a proper country boy. I always thought you were from Manchester.’

‘What’s it matter?’ He had to keep his voice deliberately level, rather than snapping at him. This wasn’t what he’d expected and it was none of Tozer’s concern.

‘You don’t miss it? No, I never thought I could be homesick for none of that. Filthier than any ship I’ve been on and about as crowded. Tell you what, though, we could have a cracking good time on Paradise Street when we make it back. Some drink, some girls.’ 

He pushed Hickey off and stood up, pulled up his trousers and started getting himself back in some sort of order. It would be stupid, Hickey thought with some regret, to get caught now, at this of all things. He could plan so much else, now, he had some expectations which might for once be met. He was as close as he could get to being giddy with it. Tozer himself looked almost drunk, words pouring out of him and Hickey couldn’t tell quite what he was going to say next. It was a fine feeling after a tumble but this wasn’t the place for it. 

‘They’d be bloody surprised at home, I never make it back, I haven’t been back in - well, I don’t know. Go for a walk up Vauxhall, up the Canal, didn’t use to take but half an hour to get right into the country when I was a lad but hardly no one went that far. That’s where I had a girl for the first time, in the fields up that way.’

‘You want to go back to England so you can go with a farm girl in some muddy field or catch the clap off some whore. Christ.’ He shook his head at it, that Tozer should grow up in some crowded cellar and then spend most of his life crammed into another slum afloat, without even the consoling freedom that no one gave a toss where you went or what you did, as long as you did it unobserved. But then, he'd given it up himself; and he'd known it longer and made better use of it. ‘I don’t want to hear about the sodding Mersey, anyway, I’ve seen it myself.’

‘No, it’s far off lands you want, I know. Not that they’re all that, men do the same things to each other everywhere. Worse, if they think they can get away with it. What do you want to hear about later, then?’

He’d thought it prudent not to weasel his way into messing together with Tozer and his mates, even though they were on the same watch. No surer way to get a kick up the arse than to make yourself over-familiar. All the same, he liked to hear stories about where Tozer had been when they had the time free, stories told too many times for anyone else to want to hear. He thought for a few moments, pulled out the names of places he’d only read about or occasionally not even that. ‘Trincomalee,’ he said at last, savouring the word, ‘I know that’s your favourite.’

‘Off to the Indies,’ Tozer said, taking his leave. He paused a second, looking at him sideways. ‘I know you don't mean none of it,’ he said. 

‘What’s that, love?’ Hickey asked, but Tozer was off, and didn't reply. Hickey waited a while so as not to be spotted together, feeling on the whole quite pleased with himself. 

But then, of course, who should he see as he emerged but old Billy Gibson peering out of his berth, looking even more wan and drawn than usual. Well, he’d made his bed and good luck to him, and Hickey was ready to be off about his business when Gibson twitched at the curtain with a convulsive movement of his head. He thought for a moment that Billy wanted to renew their old acquaintance, but he shook Hickey off when once inside he reached for his hand. Which would have stung, once. Would have curdled in his belly.

Hickey sat on the bed, silent, crossed his legs under him. It was clearly taking some effort from Gibson, but Hickey didn’t care a jot, not him. Let Billy stand there dumb as long as he wanted, until he spat it out.

‘I see - I hear that you and the sergeant are good mates now. And I thought, what would make the two of you such fast friends, all of a sudden? And one thing did come to mind, but it would be ever so foolhardy.’

Hickey tried his best to look innocent, then thought better of it and just attempted to look blank. A good soldier, stolid and stupid.

‘Don’t pull that face,’ Gibson said. ‘You are, then? You haven’t learnt anything?’

‘I’ve learnt a good deal,’ Hickey said. Tempting to say more, to let Gibson have it, but - it wouldn’t be satisfying for more than a moment anyway, if that.

‘And - do you get what you want?’ Gibson said, high-pitched, then shook his head. ‘Look out, then, Cornelius, because even if you don’t get caught he might not be so kind.’

Hickey shrugged. What would Billy know about what he wanted, anyway, Billy whose wants were so ordinary and naïve. ‘Oh, he could treat me rough if he wanted, but that’s honest dealing, isn’t it, Billy. I’ll admit I haven’t exactly proved the best judge of character in the past, but that’s the past and I’d be surprised if he went squealing on me behind my back,’ he said, amiably. ‘Wouldn’t you rather have a smack than that?’

Gibson blinked, rapidly. He was brittle, so brittle, and Hickey had always touched him before as if his hands were covered in soft tufts of cotton. Even thinking of cotton raised a ghostly tickle in his lungs, and he had to stop himself coughing. They had all had to take it but each blow had made Hickey stronger. It had cracked Gibson. 

You could swallow enough cotton to feel full, sometimes. But all he’d ever get was a hacking cough and a belly of fluff - unless he took for himself. He couldn’t have with Tozer what he’d had with Billy. No one thing can be slotted in for something else without a bit of friction, without a few scratches and dents where the edges don't quite fit and have to be forced. Everything only happens the same way the once, but perhaps that was for the best. This time he’d make sure he got more advantage out of it. You make your own luck.

***

He was increasingly glad that he’d found something to occupy him through the dark months. It was all too easy to slip into a bleak, blank idleness as more and more it became clear that he could do what he liked. Within reason, if he was sly about it. That slackness did give him something to gnaw at - where was command? Where was the sodding captain? He thought Crozier probably wasn’t dead; the rest of them wouldn't be able to cover that up convincingly for very long. On the other hand, not a few men did die from the shakes. Dead or not, it meant that the rest of the officers were more than a bit distracted. As long as you put the right face on and weren’t obviously idle or insubordinate - not as easy as it sounded, sometimes - you’d get on all right. And they were all enjoying their last freedoms in the new, looser regime, of which Carnivale was the most obvious result. A bit of fooling, an attempt to foster a last bit of sorely-needed goodwill before they walked out, Hickey knew. 

His association with Tozer did not really yet extend to Tozer’s proper mates, and no one else was much keen on Hickey at the moment. So he spent the first part of Carnivale skulking about half regretting that he’d come, except that it was better than being stuck on watch. He managed to distract himself nicely, for a bit - it was a service, really, to inform some of the Erebites of his qualms and suspicions, that they might not have had chance enough or brain enough to work out for themselves. He even thought he might try out someone new, if they proved amenable, while Tozer was too distracted to keep an eye out.

But then he caught sight of Tozer talking with that little coward Armitage, who of course had his cap set at him. And that made him see red, although he’d told himself over and over again that it was a matter of convenience, of a bit of fun, a bit of manoeuvring for advantage. But it was imagining that bloody Armitage dropping to his knees as he of course would with the slightest bit of encouragement, that got him. 

It was pathetic to entertain it like that; he wouldn’t believe that Sol hadn’t figured it out. No, he liked the attention, wasn’t it what he had always wanted from Hickey, to be coddled and cosseted, listened to indulgently, petted and spoiled. And it dawned on him that others might think he was making a fool of himself in his doings with Tozer, not knowing what went on. That old blank anger overwhelmed him and for a moment he couldn't move, couldn’t have spoken, not if the ice itself had yawned open at his feet. He froze in place with his jaw clenched but then he got a hold on himself. It was a familiar feeling but he'd never done anything he didn't regret while it had him in its grip. He made himself smile and breathe slower. 

Well, since he'd put all of that bloody work in it didn't seem fair for Tozer to go off with someone else, particularly not that someone else. It nagged a little uncomfortably at him that he didn't really have any proof of any of this; it nagged at him more that he'd maintained all along he didn't care a whit about what Tozer did. But still, Tozer was his and therefore what was good for Hickey was good for him. Or it had better be.

Tozer was flushed red with drink, roaringly happy. He turned to Hickey and was about to shout a greeting before Hickey flicked his eyes towards one of the side entrances and sauntered off. He didn’t much fancy going outside, freezing his prick off, so he wandered for a while through the canvas maze. Tozer followed a decent few yards behind, not stupid with drink yet but on the way there. At last he found somewhere reasonably tucked away, an empty alcove with dark little corners shielded by a jumble of boxes and barrels, and squirreled himself into one.

Tozer came up behind him, head on his shoulder and hands going to his fly. ‘I know what you have in mind,’ he grinned. ‘What have you come as, then? This is just clothes. Flash, though, a right little swell you are.’

‘I didn’t bring you out here to pull me off,’ Hickey said. ‘I want to fuck you.’

His hands faltered. ‘I’ve told you and told you, I don’t do that,’ he said, although he sounded uncertain. ‘I haven't done that.’

‘Are you telling fibs, Solomon?’ Hickey asked, pleasantly, turning around. ‘I think you might be. Well, it doesn’t matter, because it’s only a little thing. It would just be a little thing you could do for me, to make it up to me.’

He wavered, visibly indecisive. ‘I’m not some shop-girl you can talk into it. And to make what up, then, what am I supposed to have done.’

Hickey moved in closer, tipped his head, to look coquettishly up at Tozer’s broad, blunt face. You bloody well owe it me, you flirt, you tart, it was at the tip of his tongue, but that might wreck everything. ‘I’m not talking you into anything. Do it or don’t, but you’ll enjoy it. I’ll make it good for you, I promise. I’ll be good to you. It’s not just a fuck I'm after, it's you I want,’ he said, glib, because they always wanted to hear it. He’d calmed down, could be amiable now he’d almost certainly get his way.

Tozer bit his lip, frowned. Then, inevitably, he gave in, sagging a little into Hickey’s touch. ‘All right.’

Hickey wished, all of a sudden, that he could take his time with Tozer, get him trembling and begging with just fingers and tongue. But they didn’t have the leisure and he got him ready quickly though not unkindly, with a bit of oil from the lamp’s reservoir. He bent him over one of the barrels, went slow enough to get his legs shaking, get little grunts and muffled noises out of him when he found that particular spot.

‘Hell _fire_ ,’ Tozer grunted after a particularly insistent crook of his fingers, head dropping to his forearms, thudding onto the top of the barrel.

‘Not as bad as all that, is it?’

‘No, it’s good, better than I - than I thought, go on, I’m ready -’ He hissed in frustration when Hickey pulled his fingers out to slick himself up.

‘Steady,’ he said, ‘try not to tense up like that,’ and then thought, well, if he wants it that much he can have it, anyway. Tozer clenched down too tight as he thrust in, his whole body rigid, then after a long, long moment whined almost and relaxed, tipping forwards. ‘That’s better. Talked you into it easy enough after all, didn’t I,’ he said, with a smile. ‘Enjoying yourself?’

‘You bastard,’ Tozer said, cut off by a grunt when Hickey changed his angle, shallower but fast and hard. ‘Yes, like that -’

‘Oh, you do like it, don’t you. Want me to spend inside you? You'll have it dripping out of you all night, great wet patch on your drawers. Because you're my girl and I do what I want with you.’

‘Shut up,’ Tozer gasped, voice cracking, ‘shut up, don't you fucking dare.’

Hickey took no notice, reached forward to shove his fingers in his mouth. ‘You take what I give you, isn't that right,’ and Tozer did, let Hickey fuck his mouth, sucked desperately at his fingers, two then three. He clutched at the edge of the barrel, grip tightening and releasing. ‘Touch yourself,’ Hickey said. ‘Go on, it’ll be better.’

He tried to say something around Hickey’s fingers but made no move to take himself in hand.

‘What was that?’ Hickey asked genially, pulling them not quite all the way out. ‘Couldn’t quite hear you there.’

‘It’s good,’ Tozer said, indistinct, ‘it’s good -’, then made a little noise close to a whine as Hickey plugged his mouth back up for a moment.

‘Then be a good girl, and do as I tell you,’ Hickey said, wiping his fingers off on Tozer’s cheek and jaw, giving him a little tap with the back of his hand, thrusting hard at the same time.

Then he did reach down obediently, and Hickey saw why he might not have wanted to because it took only five, six more thrusts before he spent up the rough wood with a little grateful whimper. He held himself up on his forearms as Hickey kept going, hard and fast as before. He thought about his own spend trickling down Tozer’s thighs, out of that lovely round arse, and that dragged his peak out of him, the feeling so strong his eyes squeezed shut and his toes curled.

‘Lovely,’ he said at last, ‘lovely.’ He spread his buttocks with one hand, had a quick look at his hole before Tozer kicked him away - pink, a little tender-looking, a little more open than it had been, not a bad job at all, and all for him. He was half-tempted to leave the pearls of Tozer’s spunk glistening on the barrel; the thought of it all freezing there tickled him, although the canvas kept the heat in and the chill out. Instead he wiped it up with the handkerchief Tozer had left him the tobacco in.

‘Well, I shan’t want that back in that state,’ Tozer said, wrinkling his nose.

‘Oh, is it yours?’ Hickey said, and could have laughed at the look on his face. He looked at him, considering. Maybe it really was his first time - flushed, dazed, shaky on his legs, his mouth and chin wet where he’d drooled around Hickey’s fingers. On the other hand, he’d taken it very well for a blushing virgin. ‘Were you telling the truth? Am I really the first who’s fucked you?’

Tozer looked over his shoulder at him with a hint of a smile. ‘Take a wild guess, Cornelius.’ He turned round gingerly to do himself up, wincing slightly.

‘You're a better whore than I thought, then,’ Hickey said, something ugly and sour rearing its head within him. ‘But not good as all that, if you can't tell me what I want to hear.’

‘Might be as I'm out of practice. Kept you happy, though.’

‘Did you do it before the expedition? Tide you over?’ And had he kissed and cuddled with them? Surely not, he thought, and contented himself without asking. He couldn't be too angry; he supposed it was quite funny, that he'd fallen so eagerly for such a hackneyed trick. Not one he'd ever tried, to be fair, no one ever imagined him less than shopworn. But still, it didn't pay to try and make a fool out of him. Plainly a lesson he'd have to teach Tozer. 

‘I hadn't done it for ages. I'm too old for it really. It was good while it lasted, a fuck and a bit of tin, why pay to get your cock sucked when one of them will give you a couple of bob to do it for you. Look, you really thought it was my first time and you went at it like that?’

‘Maybe I thought you were a prodigy. Exhibit you and your miraculous backside in a tent show, does sixpence a pop sound fair?’ He smiled to soften it; then he wondered how clearly Tozer could see his face in the low light and wriggled in against his side. ‘But they did all pay you?’

Tozer slung an arm around him, heavy across his shoulders. ‘Well, you always have to pay somehow, don’t you. But that’s part of it, for some of them. Hand you a shilling and you’re just another servant, bloody scullery maid in a red jacket. Do this, do that, take that off, touch me like this. But they like it when you don’t listen, when you show them what's what.’ He laughed, and that was more familiar; Hickey liked that, a stripe of rage in a man. He was used to it. 

‘I've never paid for it,’ Hickey said, ‘well, never paid cash. But here we are.’ He pulled Tozer down, hand gentle at the nape of his neck. Gave him a brief, sweet kiss, close-mouthed. Added, in a fit of cruelty that overtook him, ‘For services rendered.’ To this date, anyway. He'd heard tell that the girls didn't kiss, but anyone would do anything for the right price and who among them could afford to be an exception. 

He took a quick peek around and slipped off, made sure not to look back at him. He lost himself in the crowd of men quickly, that wasn't something he'd forgotten how to do. Yes, they got on well together, the two of them, were nicely suited. He'd had many a worse arrangement. And Tozer had been right about one thing: sooner or later, the bill always came due.

**Author's Note:**

> on [tumblr](https://roaringgirl.tumblr.com) and [twitter](https://twitter.com/Milk__punch)


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